Your Job Doesn’t Define You, YOU Define You
“Begin with the end in mind” is one of the habits mentioned in the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey.
“In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car and getting out…as you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life…What achievements would you want your loved ones to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?"
When I read that several years ago, I felt a sense of awe. Viewing your life from this perspective encourages you to think big and focus on what matters most. The things bothering you now probably pale in comparison to other priorities in your life.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
“...remember a job does not define you, YOU define you.❤️” This is what one of my hiring managers sent to me when she heard the news that I was impacted during the last round of Meta layoffs. I kept thinking about that over the past month. HOW do I define myself? How do I define myself if I'm not a recruiter working for a certain company?
After reflecting on this, I realize that how you define yourself can really have nothing to do with the company you’re working for now.
In the same book, when illustrating the third habit “Put First Things First”, Stephen mentioned the four drives (the 4 “L”s) - To live, to love, to learn, and to leave a legacy.
“There are certain things that are fundamental to human fulfillment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase; to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy. The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economical well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love and be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution.”
To Live
“To live” is the fundamental part. I guess under current circumstances, what it means to most of us is to maintain good health and do the things we enjoy. Keep exercising, travel to the places you've always wanted to, and take care of your mental health. For me, I love kickboxing, yoga, and hiking. Exercising regularly not only keeps me physically healthy but also distracts me from emotional downs.
In the article “Finding Gratitude and Appreciation Is Key to Resilience”, Sheryl Sandberg shared that writing down three moments of joy before she goes to bed each night really helps. That simple practice has changed her life.
I've been practicing that for a while during COVID when things were out of control. And I began to list the three things I'm grateful for again recently. The point I listed most frequently and is most powerful is knowing that I, my family, and my loved ones are all healthy.
To Love
Connect with loved ones, and reach out to friends whom you haven't talked to for a while. Arrange those family dinners you've always wanted. Knowing that there are people who will support you no matter what, who love you unconditionally, and who share your experiences can really help pull us out of an emotional downturn.
Most importantly, love yourself! Embrace all kinds of feelings and thoughts you are experiencing right now, whether negative or positive. Give yourself as much time as needed to feel better. Being laid off doesn't equal your performance and competencies. Losing a job doesn't change who you are fundamentally. You're still you, and when the opportunity comes, you will shine as always.
To Learn
I've been thinking a lot about what we should learn, especially considering AI may replace many jobs or large portions of various jobs in the future.
People may say HR/Recruiters should be the least to worry, as AI can hardly replace the human touch. Largely true. However, imagine if most jobs are replaced by AI, companies won't need to hire as many people, there won't be many jobs left for recruiters to hire.
AI does a great job assessing hard skills, like coding, data analysis, and knowledge checks. However, when it comes to assessing soft skills, like communication, strategic thinking, influencing, and creativity, there's still a long way to go. Truth be told, soft skills often determine whether you get the job or not (recruiter insights:)). I remember once one of my hiring managers told me that he doesn't need 45 minutes or an hour to know whether a candidate is fit for the role or not. He can basically tell within the first 30 seconds. Of course, there might be biases there. However, knowing that nonverbal communication could account for 60-70 percent of human communication, there's some truth to it.
Maybe in the future, there will be fewer recruiters, and for those who remain in the field, they'll focus less on admin tasks and technical assessment. Instead, top recruiters will be the ones who can assess soft skills effectively and provide an extra human touch in the process. Having excellent soft skills makes you stand out now and will be even more critical in the future.
According to the LinkedIn report “2023 Workplace Learning Report: Building the Agile Future”, “Skills sets for jobs have changed by around 25% since 2015. By 2027, this number is expected to double.”
So, whether you have a job now or not, be open-minded and keep learning. Be someone who can communicate well (with humans and AI), make strategic plans and decisions, influence without authority, and navigate uncertainties with agility.
There are tons of learning resources online if you want to explore soft skills like communication, influencing, problem-solving, negotiation, agility, leadership, and more. If you have time and want to learn something but aren't sure what to focus on, start with these skills.
To Leave a Legacy
I consider myself a builder. I've built and scaled multiple teams at Uber and Meta across different markets in APAC. I'm so proud of the teams I built, and I took it personally when I saw people I hired get impacted by business re-orgs and non-performance-related layoffs. I often think, "What's the point?" "I brought in top talents, but in the end, it's all for nothing."
Not until recently did I realize that a job is not a destination; a career is a journey. People come and go. The most important thing is that they had the experience in those companies, partially because of me, and maybe just because of that experience, they're shining or will be shining in other places. That gives meaning to my work.
Now, I'm not associated with any company. Can I still make an impact?
Yes, maybe an even bigger impact.
For the past few weeks, I've been sharing thoughts and reflections openly online, and I was so moved by people reaching out and telling me how my words and thoughts helped them. Even though the feedback and comments I received are not many so far, I know at least I made a difference in someone's life. :)
When I saw the data from this Bloomberg article “Global Layoffs Extend Far Beyond Big Tech”, I was surprised. I didn't realize job cuts were so deep worldwide, beyond tech. And I was worried when I saw the record high fresh graduates' unemployment rate, for example, “China’s Record Graduates to Pressure Youth Jobs Market in 2023”. Seeing all the layoff news, stats, and unemployment rates, I feel like there's definitely something else, something more I can do to make a difference.
Donate Time to Make an Impact
So, I decide to take an initiative to #DonateTimeToMakeAnImpact. I would like to volunteer my time and offer two sessions per week, 30 minutes each, to help anyone in need.
What I Can Offer/ Topics I May Be Able To Add Value To:
CV reviews
Job search platforms and tips
Mock interviews
Interview preparation
Soft skills required for most jobs and how to demonstrate those in interviews
Negotiation for compensation packages
Career choices and insights into working in startups or mature companies
Tips for recruiters and hiring managers on interviewing and finding top talent
Insights on structured interviews
How to deal with layoffs
Or simply, a listening ear if you need one
If any of the above aspects interest you, sign up HERE for a chat! No strings attached.
If you are passionate about making an impact and sharing your expertise, join me! Ping me or simply leave your contact HERE.
If you want to join this initiative but may not have time now (as you might be traveling, interviewing yourself, or simply feel like you're not ready yet), it's okay. Come back later when you're ready.
Alternatively, simply share or like this article and let your connections know there are opportunities like this. You never know; that simple click may change someone's life. :)
Remember that your job doesn't define you, but your actions, your contributions, and your growth do. By focusing on the 4 "L"s – to live, to love, to learn, and to leave a legacy – you can continue to define yourself and make a meaningful impact, regardless of your current employment status.
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