The Career Advice I've Received Over the Years
Recently, I came across questions on Quora like: "What is some career advice that people usually learn too late in life?" and "Which pieces of career advice have actually done more harm than good? How?" (Some answers are attached at the end of this article.) This made me reflect on the career advice I've received over the years and how those have shaped me. The more I think about it, the more I realize that there's no good or bad career advice for me; it's just whether it's applicable to me at that specific stage or for that specific situation.
#1 The Most Practical Advice
"Don't let things sit on your hand; don't become the bottleneck in the work."
Eight years ago, when I made the career transition from a recruiting agency to an in-house recruiter, I traveled to Shanghai and met one of my clients back then, who was working at PayPal as a recruiter. I remember asking him over lunch if there was any advice he could share with someone who had never done in-house recruiting before. I recall vividly that he said, "Don't let things sit on your hand; don't become the bottleneck in the work." I didn't fully understand what he meant, as working in a recruiting agency is quite straightforward – all you need to do is find the candidate and get them hired. It wasn't until I became a full-cycle in-house recruiter that I realized how practical and important that piece of advice is. My first in-house recruiter job was at Uber China, a startup where things move fast, and people hustle. As an in-house recruiter, there are many cross-functional stakeholders you need to work with and numerous projects you need to take on. Juggling different priorities, I'm glad that I cultivated the habit of moving fast and executing quickly, largely thanks to the advice I received.
#2 The Advice I Wish I Had Known Earlier
"Don't waste time worrying too much about what others think of you."
A few years ago, I read the book "The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness", which introduces key concepts such as finding happiness through self-improvement and interpersonal relationships, rather than seeking validation from others. The book emphasizes the importance of having the courage to be disliked in order to lead an authentic and fulfilling life, by breaking free from societal expectations and embracing one's uniqueness.
This concept applies to our careers as well.
How many times have you wished for recognition from your manager, colleagues, or clients? Have you ever felt frustrated when you didn't receive validation, even though you believed you made a significant impact? Have you tried to please others at the expense of your own goals and happiness?
I once achieved great results in hiring a team in Taiwan and felt proud of my accomplishment. However, my manager at the time didn't give me much recognition, which was somewhat demotivating. Later on, when we became closer, I half-jokingly asked why he didn’t “praise” me. He told me that he thought I did a fantastic job; it's just that he had just joined the company and was still learning himself at that time.
Sometimes people want to praise you but don't want to sound condescending. How would you feel if a colleague patted your shoulder and said "good work" without any specific details? It might not feel authentic and could even come across as condescending, right? Over the years, I've met many great teammates and witnessed incredible achievements. Whenever I want to give compliments, I remind myself to be sensitive and specific, so my words don't sound condescending. There's a book called "Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity" that discusses how to give both positive and negative feedback to subordinates, peers, and managers. Perhaps that's a topic for a future article. The point is, a lack of praise or recognition doesn't necessarily mean you're not doing a great job; perhaps the other person is simply not accustomed to giving praise.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked, and receiving constructive feedback is essential for our growth. However, if we rely solely on others' feedback as our guiding star, we might lose our way. This is especially important when working in a constantly changing company or industry. Imagine trying to please everyone while having five different managers in just six months. Our true compass should always be our core values and personal growth.
I wish I had read the book earlier, so I wouldn't have spent so much time worrying about what others thought of me in the early stages of my career. A quote from a Meta poster, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" has been a great source of inspiration for me. The sky's the limit when you're not afraid of others' judgment.
#3 The Advice I Didn't Grasp At First
"Don't always look for shortcuts; sometimes, you'll have to take detours in life."
During my master's program, our mentor shared a piece of advice that I initially struggled to understand: "Don't always look for shortcuts; sometimes, you'll have to take detours in life." For instance, when we had difficulty choosing a topic for our graduation thesis, our mentor could have easily provided suggestions, but he didn't. Instead, he encouraged us to explore on our own, conduct research, and find topics ourselves, as that was the only way we could truly learn.
Some individuals learn best through personal experience. A friend of mine once told me that he learns most effectively by diving in and trying things himself. When he was a child, his mother warned him not to touch fire due to its danger, but he had to experience the fire firsthand to comprehend the risk and learn not to touch it again.
In our careers, we sometimes need to make mistakes and take detours to gain a deep understanding of things. I remember a time when our team expanded rapidly, and we welcomed many new members. As one of their onboarding buddies, I focused on helping them onboard efficiently, creating playbooks, and sharing best practices. However, after receiving feedback from the team, I realized that my approach was somewhat selfish, as it denied them the opportunity to learn and discover things on their own. While my methods might have been efficient in the short term, they hindered the team's innovation and long-term effectiveness.
#4 The Advice I Disagree With
"Women should prioritize stability and family over career."
Growing up, I often heard advice such as "Women should find a stable job" or "Women should prioritize family over career." This may be rooted in cultural expectations that women primarily serve as caretakers and supporters of their families. However, I firmly believe in gender equity and that women should have the same opportunities to pursue their dreams and ambitions as men.
Today, more women are breaking away from traditional roles and pursuing careers in various industries. I, too, have chosen a path that is filled with uncertainty and challenges, but it's also incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. In an alternate universe, I might be a teacher or a civil servant as my parents expected, but I cannot imagine being happy in that scenario. While there may be ups and downs along the way, I have never regretted the choices I've made.
#5 The Timeless Advice
"Cultivate critical thinking and always be learning"
In the book "Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know", renowned organizational psychologist Adam Grant emphasizes the importance of re-evaluating our beliefs and assumptions to adapt and grow. The book encourages embracing a lifelong learning mindset and offers three strategies: humility, curiosity, and doubt.
Once, during a conversation with friends about preferred management styles, I confidently expressed my dislike for micromanagement, as someone who values autonomy and empowerment. I assumed most people shared my perspective. However, a friend offered a different view, explaining that in the early stages of his career, he lacked experience and was eager to learn from seniors. He appreciated being micromanaged by his manager at the time, as it helped him learn a great deal. As he gained expertise in his field, his preferences evolved.
This made me realize that I had once appreciated a form of micromanagement from my first manager at a recruiting agency. He meticulously reviewed and edited every email I sent, refining the format and fonts for clarity. I learned a lot from him, and we remain close friends to this day.
This experience connects to a course I took called "Situational Leadership", which taught that effective leadership is flexible and adaptive, adjusting one's approach based on the needs, abilities, and maturity of the individuals or groups being led. Rather than a single best leadership style, leaders should assess the situation, understand their followers' readiness levels, and choose the most appropriate style from four main approaches: directing, coaching, supporting, and delegating.
Different industries may also require varying approaches to decision-making and problem-solving. I once asked a pilot friend if he had received any career advice that benefited his job. He explained that in his line of work, it's crucial to remember, "When there's doubt, there's no doubt." Pilots must double-check everything, as people's lives are in their hands, and they can't operate with ambiguities. This perspective contrasts with the tech industry, where often, we must make decisions and operate under ambiguous conditions. Waiting for 100% accurate information might cause us to miss crucial opportunities.
The Chinese proverb, "If you believe everything you read, it's better not to read at all" (“尽信书则不如无书”) summarizes this well. It warns against blindly accepting the contents of books (or any source of information) without applying critical thinking or verifying the information for oneself. This concept applies to career advice as well. There is no universally good or bad advice; it's essential to consider whether it applies to your unique situation and background. Use your best judgment and learn to adapt.
P.S.: Here are some interesting answers from Quora that I thought were worth sharing. :)
What is some career advice that people usually learn too late in life?
Which pieces of career advice have actually done more harm than good? How?